sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
