They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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