Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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