I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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