Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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