Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
