just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
