doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
