Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
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my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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