I wish I only lived at night.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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