NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
