i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
