Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor