just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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