two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
