Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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