so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize