it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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