can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize