Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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