There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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