and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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