i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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