I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize