If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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