nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
