so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
