I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
