i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize