She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
