well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
