No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
