cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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