return my video game
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Randomize