yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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