Screwed.edu
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
