What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need to calm my uterus...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize