Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
