he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
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i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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