"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
