its not stalking. its research.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
