do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize