I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize