we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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