What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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