He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
