By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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