We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
