My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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