why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
