oh god the rape fog is back!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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