He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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