my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
