i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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