eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
