so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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