I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize